Interesting thing....

The other day, I went to a focus group study to give my opinion on issues that concern same gender loving males of color. (s/n I blame author James Earl Hardy for my now using the term, "Same Gender Loving") I found it to be very insightful and relaxing. I myself don't have friends that are homosexual. I choose not to hang around with a lot of them, especially the ones of the younger generation due to a lot of negativity and ignorance that the vast majority brings. They have what one of the participants called "The Mean Girl Syndrome". They talk about each other, have their little cliques and pretty much tear each other down instead of banding together and building each other up.

I digress. I was in the lobby waiting with six other men, and we were having an intelligent conversation with out it turning overly sexual or speaking or dwelling on negativity. (Of course this is possibly due to the fact that at 27 I was one of the youngest ones there. I believe another participant, Steven was possibly younger than I) Anyway, while in the room, (we were being watched via a two way mirror as well as audio taped) we brought up issues that plague the gay society, HIV being the top issue. Listening to some of the participants who are HIV positive tell of their problems, not so much as the effects of living with the disease, but getting the medications for it. Medications were costing this one particular person $1500 out of pocket after insurance. That is just rediculous to me. He was also saying how if three prescriptions that he needed all came from the same laboratory then it would be free for the pharmacy to receive, however, the pharmacy will charge the patient what is called a "dispense fee". Pretty much they charge the person a fee for putting a label with their name on the bottle. Mind you the pharmacy receives these medications for free to disperse to the patient.

While I knew that HIV positive people faced difficulties, I didn't know to what level it reached. Being in the group study really made me want to do more for my community and for my people and for Same Gender Loving people in general.

Also, being with them kind of more or less renewed my faith in mankind. I had become so jaded and cynical towards people that I forgot that there are intelligent beings out there with intelligent conversation without the "hood" mentality.

We also touched on what we could do to help spread awareness of HIV/AIDS, and this really inspired me to want to do more. I have HIV+ people in my family as well as being with a couple of sexual partners who have contracted the disease. I want to spread the news and influence more people to protect themselves as well as others. I don't believe that we should cater to just the homosexual community, even though it does seem to be more frequent with us, but I want to spread awareness to heterosexuals as well. I want to eliminate the stigma that it is just a "gay man's" disease. Any one can get it: male, female, gay, lesbian, and straights. I am lucky and blessed enough to be HIV negative, but others aren't so lucky. I want to be able to catch as many people as I can to help prevent new infections.

We also spoke about how there really aren't places for people such as ourselves to go out and enjoy ourselves and be free. Here in Dallas, there is an area that we call "The Strip" or "The Gayborhood". It is a street near Downtown Dallas where it is a few gay bars as well as gay friendly shops and restaurants. This is pretty much the only area where we can go out and be who we are and not have to worry about getting beaten for looking a certain way or carrying ourselves a certain way.

I guess being with this group of gentlemen kind of opened my eyes to some things as well as brought me out of the protective bubble that I placed myself in. I hope I get the opportunity to participate in something like this again.

I want to help. I want things to change. It starts with me. It starts with you.

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