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When is enough, enough?

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When is enough, enough? At what point do you finally get tired of playing the role of the dumbass? I ask this question because I'm being a dumbass, realizing it, and have continued  to be as such. I allow myself to be lied to, used, and manipulated just for the simple sake of having someone around. I realize what's going on, and for the most part, I put it towards the back of my mind because the person that I want to be with is around. I finally came to the realization that if this person really cared for me like they state, then the things that they do would reflect that. I'm a big believer that actions speak louder than words, and right now, he's being very quiet, aside of the blatant disrespect of course.  As you may or may not know, I've been seeing a therapist because of my self esteem issues, and I believe that this is a factor of one. I don't believe that I am capable of achieving or having love in my life so I take whatever I can get. I allow my...
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Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?

You know, I think that we seriously have a problem. There is an extreme shortage of good men out there. It seems as though all the ones that I've encountered aren't about shit. They don't do shit, ain't got shit, and don't wanna be shit. I meet guys who either don't have a job, their own place, or a car and hell in some cases all of the above, and they are perfectly fine with it. Seriously, like what the fuck? I happened to be out with my friend, Tiffany and her niece Vinesha. Vinesha is like 15 or 16 or whatever the hell, and she mentions that she is going out on a date. I thought that this was cute, so I started asking questions, such as "What will you all be doing? Where is he taking you? How are y'all getting there?" etc. and I was just a tad bit taken aback. The young man, who is also sixteen will be picking her up in his  car, and taking her to dinner and a movie. It took a minute for this shit to kick in. Okay. This dude, who is in school an...
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Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Janet Jackson once said, “There’s nothing more depressing than having everything, and still feeling sad.” No truer words to me, right now, have been spoken. To me, I think I have everything. I have a great job that I plan on turning into a career, I have a place to live; get to drive a brand new car every year. Of course I’m single right now, but I’m dealing with that; it’s not as though that is getting to me like it used to. However, I still feel sad. The bad part is, I have no idea why. I do know that I suffer from depression and I have been battling it for 17 years, but it seems as of late, I get into a funk. I get into this mode where all I want to do is cry (if I could, but I’m a firm believer that men don’t cry so I won’t allow myself to) eat ice cream and sleep. I’m good if not great at one thing though. I’m great at pretending some things don’t exist, or if I do acknowledge them, I am great at pretending that they don’t bother me. At least until something like this happens. ...
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