...And life becomes a dream....

I have a problem with always wanting what I cannot have. I remember when someone asked me what was it about you that made me feel like this. Why do I feel the way I do about you. At the time, I didn't know. I didn't know until recently. A friend of mine told me that I was a nurturer. Looking back over it, I can agree. I tend to be attracted to those that I feel need me. I like to take care of people the way that a parent would almost, but in your case, like a loving spouse. In my mind, you need me. I think of the things that you would do at work and I would just shake my head and say "That poor baby," to myself. I really care about you. It was something that I thought was over however seeing as how I hadn't seen or heard you in several months. At first it was painful, but then it became second nature not thinking of you or seeing you. You became what I thought, a distant memory. 

 I thought I was over you until recently. All those old feelings came rushing back. I love you. I have from the moment I saw you, and even still to this day, I love you. I carry you around with me daily. It's like a part of you is permanently ingrained within me; locked away in a secret compartment of my heart, covered by my soul. I remember how I would lie in bed at night and wish you were on the other side. So many nights I wished you were with me. I wish I could see you now. I wish I could hold you close. I wish I could kiss you. If I never wanted anything in life, I want to feel your kiss; to taste your lips. To inhale your scent as you draw me near.

I know how upset you are with me, and I never meant to embarrass you or hurt you in any way. I love you too much for that. Believe me I do. I only wish I could be the one to make you happy. She has you though. She has you. I just hope that she realizes what she does have. If I ever had the opportunity, I know I could have you mind, body, heart, and spirit. You wouldn't want to look at anybody else. There are no words to describe the feeling I get when I think of you. When I remember your goofy smile. That gorgeous silly smile that always made my day bright. I miss seeing you. I miss being around you. I miss you. I love you MP. I always will. Until we dream of life and life becomes a dream.