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I think that I've come to the realization of something: I'm a little lonely. I guess I've allowed myself to put it off for as long as I can by focusing on other things. However, reality just set in, and I am lonely. I can get through the days just fine. I have my farmville, and working on my book, but it is at night when I'm off where I wish that I had someone lying next to me, snuggling closer to me to steal all the warmth from my body.  I want someone that I can lie up against and talk about anything and everything and then at times say nothing at all. Just stare into each other's eyes and not say a word but hold an entire coversation.

I've imagined a lot of nights us just propped up on pillows in the bed watching tv, alternating lying on each other's chests listening to the other's heart beat. It's stuff like that, that I want.  The older I get, the less of a chance I see that happening. Especially with the people who are aout there today. No one wants to date anymore. No one wants to share the most intimate of moments. The things that really connect two people. They either want to see what they can get out of it or get them a nut and move on. I guess I'll sit and wait for the day when and if it happens. I know the person I would love to share this with, I cannot. It's not as bad as it used to be, how deeply I cared for this individual. I do hold some resentment, but of course it is unjustly so.
I mean I hate her because she has a part of him that I never will; given him what I never can. I should just focus on myself and try to make myself a better person for me instead of worrying about someone else.

I would like to say that being alone gets easier each day that you go through it, but I'd be lying to the both of us.