Cry




Hey all.

I know it's been a while since I've updated on this blog. I had a website that is now defunct. I decided to visit you all and get some things off my chest.

Cry. Crying. I think that it is a form of weakness. So much so, that I don't cry. I haven't cried since my grandmother passed in 1997. Don't get me wrong. There are DEFINITELY some things that makes me want to cry, but I just can't let the tears fall. I'm sitting here listening to Mariah Carey's "Cry" and drinking rum. Yeah, that's a bad combo, I know because now it has me thinking.

One thing well two things that I think are this: I miss my husband (now ex-husband) and I miss the little girl that I see as my daughter.

I can't help but to think of my marriage and wonder if there was something that could be done.Of course I know there isn't, but my mind won't allow me to think anything but. Also, there's a little girl that I wanted to adopt. Her parents decided to keep her. I see her from time to time, unknown to her parents. I really wish that my life was different. I'm really tired of a lot of things. I'm mainly tired of being alone. I'm tired of going to work and coming home to an empty apartment. I would love to help my daughter with homework. I want to hear about my spouse's day.

I didn't think that I'd ever be that type, but I am. I think I'm just lonely.

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